


it's what you deserve (my love)

by aecusfalcon



Series: and the soft mornings greet us with open arms [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Confessions, Episode Ignis Verse 2, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, Mostly Fluff, No Proofreading We Die Like Men, Post-Episode Ignis Verse 2, Road Trip, just a couple of sad gays going on the road trip they DESERVE, part of a series but can be seen as a standalone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 06:16:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17381204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aecusfalcon/pseuds/aecusfalcon
Summary: There’s a tenderness to his face, as compared to when they had stood in the throne room breathing and barely alive and feeling all sorts of relief when the sun came up and Noct’s still with them.All the stress and grief that’d built up over time seems to have been erased in this very moment.He looks beautiful.It takes Ignis’s breath away.





	it's what you deserve (my love)

**Author's Note:**

> idk if this makes any sense it's 2am and i'm gay. [also i listened to this song on repeat for 4 hours straight while writing this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yV4Rsq-4JRA)

He doesn’t know how long it’s been since he last drove the Regalia. The old thing had been destroyed shortly after the collapse, it sat on the side of the road in Cape Caem for who knows how long before Cid decided to make a project out of it in their wait for their king’s return.

And now here he is. Hair becoming all sorts of a bird’s nest from the wind blowing through it, Noctis standing beside him, arms resting on the windshield to keep himself stable.

Any other day he would scold him, tell him to get down, but he can’t bring himself to do so. It’s been so very long since he’s seen that look on his king’s face.

 

It reminds him all too clearly of decades passed. Noctis changed after the marilith attack. It was evident the moment he got back from Tenebrae, from how he seemed to slow down, to how withdrawn he’d gotten. So that’s why he was outside the citadel, following closely behind the Prince as he moved forward, no set destination in mind as he pointed at things he thought interesting.

He held back a reprimand, that they shouldn’t be out here, that it’s _dangerous_ but no one seems to notice who they are so he let it go for the time being. Eventually Noctis grabbed his hand and tugged him forward after having stopped to look inside a store through the window.

“Where are we off to now?”

“The park,” was his simple response and Ignis didn’t argue, instead he walked a little ahead of him, not letting go of his hand.

“I know where it is. We won’t get lost if I lead.”

Noct said nothing in response, just nodded and followed.

He was only ever like that with Noctis, breaking the rules, enjoying their outings even if he acted like he didn’t. He remembers oh so very clearly when they found a hole in the fence the surrounded the park and crawled through, not letting go of each other’s hand once even if it would’ve been easier to do so.

He remembers watching the sun set and the chill of night starting to creep in as they sat on top of a hill talking mindlessly about nothing and everything a nine and eleven year old could possibly talk about.

“I wanna see the world.”

“You’ve been to Tenebrae.” And then he mentally scolds himself, the wound from that experience so very fresh…

“Yeah but I mean _see_ it. I wanna travel it and meet all the people and all the wildlife. And ride a chocobo!  And _fishing_.”

“That sounds lonely.” And it did, to him, to go out in the world _alone_ with no company but the air around him.

“It won’t be lonely if you take me.”

“Me?”

“Take me to see the world, Iggy!”

“B-”

“As prince I order you to take me to see the world.” It’s said in his “grown up” voice and Ignis can’t help the small smile that forms at his lips.

“Of course, your Highness.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

When they got back Ignis took the fall for absconding with the Prince and was ordered to stay in his room and study proper etiquette for a week.

 

“You never told me,” is the first thing Noctis says since they left Lestallum. The ruins of Insomnia had been too much for either of them to stay for too long, a harsh reminder of what they once had, of what they could have lost, of the fact that they will never just be Iggy and Noct.

But in this moment, that’s all they are. And that’s enough for Ignis.

“Told you what?”

“Where we’re going.”

Ignis smiles to himself as his gaze shifts back to the road, “I told you I would take you to see the world, didn’t I?”

Noct is quiet for a while, sitting back down in his seat and staring out at the land’s recovering scars. “You seriously remember that?”

“You made it rather hard to forget.”

“We were still kids.”

“You gave me a _royal order_.”

“You already took me to see the world.”

“If you count the end of the world as _seeing_ the world then your expectations are wonderfully low.”

He remembers the drive all too well at this point, from deliveries made for some spare gil, all the way up to the endless nights when he would chase daemons with nothing better to do.

They continue on in silence, and Ignis makes a turn, a way they’d never been together. They’d never been to the far Northern parts of Lucis, not together, at least… Some new views might prove to be good for the both of them. He looks over to Noctis briefly, sees him rest his arms on the door of the Regalia as he looks out.

“I didn’t think everything would start growing back so fast.”

“Well, I doubt it’s exactly _unnatural_ they do that. I have a few theories that with the Starscourge finally out of existence plant life is able to truly flourish now that there’s nothing to suck up important nutrients. That’s why we never had many forests or trees that grew taller than the average kind.”

Noct hums in response, eyes never leaving the scenery.

It hits him, in that moment, Noctis hasn’t seen any of this in ten years, and in a way, neither has he. In their youth they took it all for granted, they never stopped to smell the roses, always too wrapped up in their world that it makes one forget that their world encompasses more than themselves.

And Noctis must be thinking the same thing, if his expression says anything.

There’s a tenderness to his face, as compared to when they had stood in the throne room breathing and _barely alive_ and feeling all sorts of relief when the sun comes up and Noct’s still with them.

All the stress and grief that’d built up over time seems to have been erased in this very moment.

He looks beautiful.

It takes Ignis’s breath away.

 

They’d fallen into a sort of waltz a year or so ago. Tiptoeing around the obvious not for propriety’s sake, he realizes, but because it’s too soon. Too raw. It would have been like lightning, charged, and fast, and devastating. He’s not ready for that, and he knows Noctis isn’t either.

It seems, however, this waltz is coming to its close.

“I.. saw what happened. The ring… What you did…”

Was Noctis waiting for them to be alone before this inevitable conversation? “Ah.”

“I’m sorry…”

“There’s nothing to apologize for, Noct. I don’t regret my choices.”

“I know you don’t. It still hurts though, doesn’t it?”

Now _that_ , that he doesn’t know how Noct knows. He must have figured it out, he’s not stupid. He must have connected the dots on why he seems to actually take days off from helping with reconstruction, must have noticed the way his face twists in pain all of a sudden when he thinks no one is looking, must have noticed the glove he wears only on his left hand even when he’s dressed casually.

Must have noticed he never rolls his sleeves up anymore.

“It does.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Stop apologizing for something you have no control over. I’ve already accepted the consequences of my actions. And if one of those consequences is you being here and alive then I can handle whatever pain is thrown my way.”

“You shouldn’t have to, Iggy.” He sounds sad and so very sincere, eyes finally moving from the passing landscape to him. His eyes are so intense it nearly makes Ignis slam his foot on the break. He doesn’t slam the break, but he does end up slowing the car and pulls over on the side of the road.

Noctis immediately takes advantage, grabbing Ignis’s hands into his own and he pulls the glove off of his left hand. His protest dies in his mouth when Noct looks at it, then back up into his eyes.

“Ignis… you’re important to me. I know you were raised to take care of me and be my advisor but I don’t know what I would do without you. You don’t deserve all the pain you’ve had.”

Ignis considers his words, doesn’t pull his hands away even though he feels Noct’s thumb rub over the deep scars littered on his hand. “You don’t either, my dear Noct… That’s why I did what I did… I…” _saw you die._

He dares not close his eyes, for fear of seeing that vision once more, for fear of none of this being real. “Nothing else matters to me.” And he doesn’t realize he’s crying until he feels something wet fall on top of his other hand.

“Ah… look at me… I’m such a mess…”

Noct lets out a quiet laugh and he lets go of one of his hands to wipe the tears from Ignis’s face, his fingers lingering a bit on the scar around his eye. “We both are… We’re old men driving on the highway like we’re still in our twenties.”

“Thirty is middle aged _at most_ , Noct.”

“Old and sad… and also technically running away from our responsibilities. We shouldn’t be out here for too long.”

“I never thought I would live to see the day _you_ would be the one lecturing _me_ on responsibility.”

“Well you did, so get use to it.”

Ignis starts the car up again, and gets them back on track. “What do you say to a bet?”

“Rules?”

“I think they won’t try finding us for another few days.”

“Oh! I think they’ll start messaging us in a few minutes.”

Ignis smiles knowingly, “I doubt that.”

Noctis pauses to study his face, “What? What did you tell them?”

“More along the lines of what they told _me_.”

Noct groaned and pouted, “Really? You can’t make a bet on something you already have the answer to! That’s cheating!”

“I never said I played fair.”

“Gods, did you cheat during all our card games, too?”

“No, I’m just exceptionally good at poker faces, and unfortunately I know all of your telling quirks.”

“Cheat.”

Ignis chuckles.

 

Eventually they stop at a river, vegetation all around making its way out of the ground, reaching for the sun. Ignis watches as Noctis takes off his shoes and stands in the water, feeling the muddy riverbed under his feet, a grin on his face.

He looks ethereal, the sunset behind him and the brilliant red of the sky lighting his face in all the right places, and he looks so at peace.

It doesn’t take much longer for Ignis to step in with him, a fluttering in his gut when Noct grabs his ungloved hand and interlaces their fingers.  “I can’t wait to see more...”

“Neither can I,” is his simple reply as they watch the sunset together. For once he doesn’t feel that fear of daemons crawling out of the depths of hell to curse the land that had once remained at the forefront of his mind even after the first sunrise. He feels at peace, here beside Noctis, alone together.

The sun is down now and he hears Noctis stifle a yawn. They get out of the water, feet freezing cold and wrinkled to the point of no return, socks getting wet as they put their shoes back on and head back up to where the Regalia’s parked. “We should find somewhere to stay.”

“Let’s stay in the Regalia.” Noct suggests.

“That can’t be comfortable.”

“Sleep in the back seats, Prompto and Gladio aren’t here to take up space.”

“There’s not enough room.”

Noct shrugs, “Alright, are there even any motels around anymore?”

“We’ll just have to wait and see.”

 

They crawl groggily up the stairs to the second floor of the motel, find their room, and proceed to fall into bed, not even bothering with the fact there’s only one. Ignis, however, is the first to climb under the sheets after a while, and he turns to face Noctis.

Noctis isn’t sleeping, which surprises Ignis, but what surprises him more is that he’s staring right back at him, and there’s that softness again.

“You should shave,” should not have been the thing he says immediately when he notices that he’s been staring longer than he should have.

“Prompto says I look regal with it.”

“ _Prompto_ has a rat on his chin that he calls a goatee.”

“Fair.”

“Also, your beard is incredibly scratchy and makes you look forty instead of thirty.”

“Geez, and here I was just admiring your face. I didn’t expect to get bombarded with insults on my facial hair.”

“Oh.” And it’s really all he can say because Noctis _always_ catches him off guard with such casual remarks.

It falls quiet again and Noctis looks about ready to pass out. (Ignis doesn’t realize he’d snaked his arms around him and vice versa.)

“I love you…” And it’s first time he says it, admits it out loud, not only to Noct but to himself, too.

Noct has a look on his face that reads, _oh, there you are_ , “I love you, too.”

They fall asleep under the blanket of night.

**Author's Note:**

> When Ignis wakes up, Noctis is surprisingly already awake.  
> "You shaved..."  
> "You said it's scratchy, can't have that if I'm gonna be kissing your pretty face."  
> Ignis sputters at that, flushing red, and he can't come up with a quip in response.


End file.
